Do you really think you’re gonna live to be 100? I have my money on a different age, but I won’t say in case Eric starts a betting pool regarding the day you die. That jerk Adam would totally steal my guess.

Your whole premise and conclusion of “life is not a rectangle, therefore life is a circle” are flawed. You say this because circles symbolize the earth and thus life, but why not say that Mila Jovovich, star and subject of the blockbuster hit The 5th Element, symbolizes life? She’s living. Her character has 200 strands of DNA. Please make your next post about “life is not a rectangle, therefore life is Mila Jovovich.”

Circular books would not waste a lot of paper, they would just be really annoying. I’ll agree that spheres are incredibly volume inefficient, but if the sentences were printed in concentric circles, starting along the circumference, then they could be just as efficient as rectangles. The problem would be knowing where the first sentence starts, because as you so stated, circles never stop. Also, reading something drunk is hard enough. Having to read something drunk while also spinning it would be even harder. Having to read something drunk, while spinning it, while sitting in a Hawaii chair http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9_amg-Aos4 would be harder still.

Your statement, “everything is circles because circles are cycles, cycles are waves and everything is a wave too,” is invalid. If I replaced “circles” with “Evan Pauls”, “cycles” with “arguers” and “wave” with “human”, then your statement would read “Everything is Evan Pauls because Evan Pauls are arguers, arguers are humans, and everything is a human too.”

Not all waves are circles. While a longitudinal wave is viewed sometimes as a circle from above, like from the epicenter of an earthquake or ripples in a pond, it would not form a circle, say, if I were screaming at you from across a field.

Also, what do you have against angles? Angles are incredibly helpful when I’m considering where to throw a stone near you, such that it comes as close to hitting you as possible, but without actually making any contact. Had the nature of the game been different and I had been trying to hit you, it would have been to your benefit to move in an erratic and angular pattern. If you were to move in circles, then it would just be a matter of timing to make a rock connect with your stomach, and although I never played much Mario, I still have impeccable timing. Jumping and avoiding lava is truly a no-brainer.

Finally, why this quest for perfection and simplification? Circles are easy. A circle just sits and is. Why not say life is an ellipse with moving foci, such that its eccentricity is always changing? That sounds like something up your alley.

And no, I will not assent to your demand that I say loudly and proudly that, “I am human I am square maker.” I’ll say it either loudly or proudly, but not both.
Don’t get greedy.

no wait

wanted: a funny bum that picks up garbage

…right?